Maria Arambula

I drink mostly water nowadays. The choice to do so has become more than a way to hydrate, it has become a devotion to simplicity and to the basic elements that make our life possible. When I drink water, I think about its source, it makes me feel closer to the earth. Without added colors and flavors I am clear to contemplate on how vital and important water is, how amazing it is in its ability to support and foster life. I feel more a part of the cycle than a cog in the machine. When I pass over a bridge and look at creeks and rivers I think about how important it is to protect our watersheds. As the rain comes down in the city and touches everything, from the leaves to the pavement, and the gutters and streets become part of that watershed I feel responsibility. I become a neighbor to someone miles away who will eventually be affected by what has run from my home.

I drink from the tap, and I become more aware. I am just as vulnerable as the land and everything else that lives here, because we all depend on the same water and the same filtration that the air, the soil and plants provide. So when I see a marsh that has been stripped of its grasses I first mourn for the red-wing blackbirds that called it home, then I sense that something has threatened me. Sometimes I don’t recognize this, sometimes it just becomes a nagging feeling that I don’t understand. But now it is making more sense, now as I take a drink and hear the rain falling outside, I am beginning to understand.

For my 26th birthday this week I decided to try a spin class. Well, I loved it, and think I may on my way to forming an addiction. Today I wasn’t going to be able to make it to the class, but still wanted to workout. After being on the bike, I just couldn’t go back to the elliptical. Without the instructor to tell me to increase the intensity, I decided that some good music could help me with the cues. So I made a mix which worked really well for me. It is around 35 minutes and 40 seconds with a really short cool down song at the end, I’m at the beginning of my exercise career so workouts around 30 minutes are about right. But with the help of this mix it was an intense 35 minutes. You can download the long mp3 version of the mix at the bottom of the post.

Here’s the playlist:

Link Wray: Slinky
The Strokes: New York City Cops
Rolling Stones: Rocks Off
The Stooges: Search and Destroy
Spiritualized: Come Together
Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings: My Man is a Mean Man
LaVern Baker: Saved
Calexico: Corona
Electric Light Orchestra: Eldorado Finale
Okkervil River: Our Life is Not a Movie or Maybe
Magnolia Electric Co: An Arrow in the Gale

Download

December 13: What’s the best change you made to the place you live?

We were living in a large 100+ year old house when we found out I was pregnant. It was a home that was often inspiring and often a pain in the ass. I miss it sometimes. We moved into the exact opposite of our previous residence in January of ‘09, we are now in a small, efficient, two-bedroom apartment. It is really inexpensive, is not subject to extreme temperature fluctuations and easy to keep up. We hope to take advantage of the cheap rent in order to save money. After only a couple of months since Ryan started his job, we have saved more money than we ever have before. That is not saying much, though, considering we never really saved money. I am so excited about saving, and this home has really made that possible.

Being here makes us more mindful of how we live, because every decision has a big impact in such a small space, it is kind of a microcosm, I suppose. It has made me change how I envision our future home. I am trying to see this as an experimental station where I can try out different techniques for living, so far I know I want to keep it simple and frugal. It is a work in progress and there is still so much to accomplish, but it is something I’m excited about.

As I realize how happy I am to be here now, I also realize that the best change I have made to my home is learning to be content with where I am. None of this is permanent, so I should be happy with what I have, but always try to make it better, where ever I may be.

Abner Jay was a minstrel singer from Fitzgerald, Georgia, which is not far from where I live. It was the middle of Summer when I first heard him. There is something that the southern heat does to you, it changes how you interpret the world. It can make you more patient, it is like the thickness of the air impedes your movement and you have to move slower. The heat goes straight into you. If you don’t learn to deal with it you’ll go crazy, and many do. Abner Jay sounded like South Georgia to me: sultry, complicated yet straight forward, and maybe a little crazy. Even discovering him reminded me of those little moments and places here that just appear out of no where that are weird and beautiful. There are two compilations I was able to find, my favorite was the True Story of Abner Jay, the other is One Man Band, both are worth a listen.

The other album that was a big hit in the Arambula/Dixon household this year was Dr. John’s Gris Gris. I am not sure how we never heard it before this year. It is apparently essential. It is also a regional-sounding album only now we are taken to the Bayou. It leaves you unsure if you are having a spell cast on you or if you really are digging the groove by your own will. Kind of like a tasty gumbo made by a voodoo shaman; it’s a mix of the both magic and genuine goodness. This is one of those albums that is difficult to extract individual tracks from because it very much a set of songs that work together to form a whole. However, I will post some tracks anyway.

Abner Jay: I’m Georgia Bound
Abner Jay: I’m So Depressed
Dr. John: Walk on Guilded Splinters
Dr. John: Danse Kalinda ba Doom

Gwen Bell’s Best of ‘09 Challenge is a great way to inspire some posts for my spankin’ new blog. Today’s prompt is:
Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?

Well, I had a baby, that made me grow, in more ways than one. It was a challenge to fight with doctors over labor induction, then be induced, still attempt to labor without pain medication, and then have cesarean birth. Maintaining my relative sanity and keeping postpartum depression at bay is challenging, but I find ways to stay strong. I learned quick that motherhood is constant giving, and that I have to learn how to experience joy in being able to give, that the giving is only reciprocal if I open myself up to experience it. What is given back is not only the satisfaction found in my family, but also the confidence I attain in being able to give and support us. The challenge that really sparked this realization occurred the first night back home.

We came home from the hospital around 48 hours after delivery, which is sooner than after many cesarean births, but we wanted to get home as soon as possible. Ryan was only given a modified recliner chair to sleep in, so he really needed real rest. I was uneasy in the hospital and knew that breastfeeding would be easier at home. I had a difficult time finding the right position for feeding Harper and even after coming home at times we would both end up in tears. That first night Ryan fell asleep quickly, and he really needed to. Harper was beside me in the co-sleeper, and woke up after I had only a few moments sleep. I pulled myself out of bed, this action caused pain which reminded me of the fact that I had a cesarean against my will and all of the other bad stuff in the hospital. It was very frustrating to feel like I wasn’t at my fullest capacity for taking care of my child. I was determined to defy this moment of doubt. I picked her up out of the bassinet and went to the other room. I changed her, which made her cry more, I felt the frustration and exhaustion mounting. Then, while standing up I began to breastfeed her. It was my first time trying this position and was surprisingly easy for both her and me. After she was calmed down I swaddled her and fed her some more. I was so tired, in so much pain, but I was doing it, I was taking care of my daughter. She fell asleep and I was able to put her back in the bassinet without her waking. We fell asleep and I got enough rest to do it again the next day and when Ryan woke up that morning he was an entirely different man. In that moment I knew I was able to be a mother, it gave me so much strength. Sometimes I remember this when things get tough, and since then it hasn’t been as difficult as that first night.

So, I just discovered the Prelinger Archives. It is a collection of industrial, educational and amateur film. These films reflect how the world was, and how the filmmakers wanted the world to be. Many are about the role of the American woman. The discovery is coming at an odd time, just as I am entering into motherhood and will be spending the next year at home to take care of my child. I can’t help but identify with some of the films, which kind of scares me. What have I become? How am I any different from Mrs. Good Housekeeping? It is a strange and confusing position to be in. As I watch the films, I wonder if it is better now than it was before. I can’t help shake the idea that perhaps domestic tasks and mothering were held in higher regard than today. There was a trade off, being a mother at home was the expectation, and the norm, so women weren’t expected to do much else, which probably extended into the perception that they couldn’t do much else. This stigma still seems to be attached to stay-at-home mothers, “You can be more than that.” or “You are more than that.”, the innate value of the mom as the care provider for the family is not taken into account. This is a complicated subject. I see these first posts as setting the stage for the topics I hope to continue to write about and explore. But for now, I must end this post, I have a diaper to change and a home to clean. I’ll leave you with these videos from the Prelinger Archives:

Women as Consumers:

And if you have 20 minutes:

It may sound crazy to the uninitiated, but I love planning the menu for the week. I write it out, make the shopping list and venture out to the store. I even look at the weekly Publix ad online to help plan meals, it’s smart, it saves money, it is addictive. The more into the meal planning I am, the more money I save. If I could quantify “into it” I could make a scatter plot of money spent or saved. One of the reasons I wanted to start a blog was to participate in “Menu planning mondays“. This will be my first contribution to the group. Here is the plan in no particular order:

Shrimp and Grits
Green Chili
Beefy Man Chili w/ cornbread
Whole Wheat Pasta with Garlic and Rosemary, Salad
Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Salad or Warm Veggies
Dirty Rice
Quick Homemade Pizza

Maybe I will write down some of the recipes and share them later.

So these are the little things that make my world go round.

It is close to 3 months since I had Harper and I am beginning to settle into the fact that I am officially a stay at home mom. I want to embrace being a stay at home mom, and be proud of it, Menu Planning Monday, for me, is a way to get that process started.

Climate Gate is another reminder of what has always been wrong with the current environmental movement: it isn’t about the Earth, it’s about us. In creating a divide between “man-made” and “natural” we continue with the destructive mindset that got us into this mess in the first place. Environmentalism is becoming less about the Earth and more about proving that we are omnipotent. “Look at what man can do, we can affect the climate of this big planet.” Of course we affect our home, we live here. All of this mess trying to prove it is just distracting us from the enormity of the problem. If all the climate change data ended up being false would that mean that we are not harming the Earth? Of course not.

Take a look at the arguments by the company trying to dam Chilean Patagonian rivers. It is ludicrous to say that a project as destructive as a dam is environmentally sound because it doesn’t emit Co2. But this argument is decent if all you are looking at is carbon impact. To put it elusively: We can’t see the forest for we’re cutting down the trees.

There must be moral reasoning within the environmental movement and it must be at the forefront of the discussion. We are linked with all on this Earth, this is reason to respect and revel in our home. When the unquantifiable values of the planet and our relationship with it are what drives our actions we will begin to make progress. Environmentalism, the idea that we must protect the planet, has the potential to connect with our most primal and fundamental selves. Just imagine the process of having been created on this Earth, to be of the Earth and to experience yourself as that. Such a realization is more powerful than any man-made statistical creation and has the potential to create the kind of progress that must be made if we are to continue to live here.

At the beginning of my teen years, I started my first blog. Back then they were not called blogs, they were journals or diaries that were open to the public. It was a primitive time, back in the day when marquees were cool.

Most of the blogs and personal websites I’ve published in my day have been deleted, others are still somewhere on the internet. Awhile ago, I purchased mariaarambula.com, figuring I’d beat out the other Maria Arambulas. Eventually, after having it sit dormant, I decided to use it to host a new blog. So, here we are.

What makes a good blog? What do I want out of this blog? The best blogs strike a balance between exhibition and restraint. They give you just enough to leave you wanting more. It is not necessary that the writer live an extraordinary life to make a good blog, as even the most mundane things can be interesting if presented well. Refining one’s editorial filter is the tricky part.

Writing is sharing a perspective, and in order to truly share, what I write must be palatable enough for you to read. So, here’s to the will to write, edit and share. Huzzah!